FraKctured - live performances - audient reports

13/11/00 - The Supper Club, show #1 / New York, NY

From Trey Gunn's diary at www.treygunn.com

November 13, 2000 The Supper Club, show #2 / New York, NY

Another good night. Not as strong for me as last night, but I think the others guys would disagree. And the repeat audience from last night might disagree as well. Because they were eating it up even more than on Show #1.

And this guides my little brain back to the comments I came across regarding audients who are disturbed that we (the musicians) don't find a particular night to be that great. And yet, these particular audients DID find it to be a powerful night. Hey lighten up guys, there are several options to reconcile this! Firstly, the musician could be wrong. I can't speak for how Pat and Robert choose to handle their 'musician diaries', but for myself I have decided to be quite personal with my experience. And my experience is My Experience. Not Robert's, not Pat's, not Adrian's, and not ANYONE's in the audience. I don't even try to guess at how anyone else is experiencing the show. I just try to spell out how things have gone down for me, and possible reflect on the meanings that come out from that. It is in NO WAY an attempt at an objective perspective. Which, in my opinion, is virtually impossible from the stage. (Second option for the various perspectives of the performance: the musician CAN'T know everything that is going on.)

Now it is true that I, as one of the musicians on-stage, am intimately involved in every moment of the performance. But, I am only involved from one side. The audience is involved from the their side and I can't know that side. Perhaps, precisely because I am so involved on my side. I CAN know how well I played. But, this can only be known to the degree that I am hitting the level of playing that I expect of myself. And my level of playing is generally irrelevant to the performance -- at least as it unveils itself moment to moment.

Just re-reading that last sentence makes me do a double-take. Can it really be true that my level of playing is irrelevant? No, that can't really be true. But, in a certain way it is true. Of course my level of playing is important. It's important to me in one sense, because if I play really crappy then I get depressed about the performance and it goes downhill from there. The level of my playing is certainly important to the music. If I can't deliver the notes properly then the music suffers. And yet, 'how' well I play seems to not effect the connection between the music, musician and the audience. And that is where the goods are -- in the middle of that connection. This is just one of the many contradictions that a professional musician deals with, I suppose: how well they play is important and it isn't important.